Self Acceptance…FINALLY!

self-esteem4

Over the past weekend I attended the Shopaholic Suite event that featured several of the DC, MD & VA’s (DMV’s) local curvy bloggers selling items from their closets. The event was amazing – more about this later in the post.

But what happened as I entered the room, walked around, shopped and met some really cool people was that I finally came to a place where I accepted me, for me, EXACTLY the way that I am.

I Love Me Written inside a Heart Drawn in Sand

I was in a room with only other curvy woman that were also beautiful, smart, funny and extremely fashionable. They all looked like me – my size! I was not out of place – I fit in just like a piece missing from a puzzle. As I met all of the women and talked with them about the clothing that they were selling and about blogging it became more and more clear to me that God made everyone in different shapes and sizes for a reason. If we were all created to look the same the world as we know it would be completely boring.

Ever since I can remember, I have struggled with my weight. I have 4 sisters and I am the heaviest. In my circle of friends, I am the heaviest. At my place of employment, I am one of the heaviest. People that know me and that are the closest to me do not even know and probably could never tell that I have been self conscience about my weight and desperately wanted to know what it may feel like to be “normal size”.

I lost 60 lbs on Weight Watchers about 4 years ago. Since that time I have gained about 25 of those lbs back, hince my new plan, Operation Fat Be Gone – which includes daily visits to the gym, joining the Fitbit craze, tracking my food in MyFitnessPal. I have been on this plan since Sept 2  and I have not lost any weight, as noted in my post, Killing Myself in the Gym – But NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT! I am motivated and committed to the plan, not only to lose weight but to he a healthier person so that I can live a long time. I have recently come to find out that I have a vitamin D deficiency – which may be enabling me to lose weight. Now I am taking vitamin D and will see what happens after about 6 months (the times for your body to respond to the vitamin D).

But what if I never lose another pound?……

I will love me just the way that I am. I will be the most stylish curvy fashionista that I can be and will encourage and support all of the other curvies of the world!

Just me

But again, all of this happened from attending the Shopaholic Suite event over the weekend that was held in the Silver Spring Civic Center. This event was utterly amazing. There were gift bags – with actual gifts, nicely set up tables and clothing racks, free massages and delicious baked goods. I met some of the most down to earth friendly bloggers as well as other shoppers. I had not had that much fun in a long time. I definitely shopped until I was ready to drop!

Below is just a small sampling of the items I purchased:

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I hope to attend more events like this in the future. I want to see more people that look like me!

Killing Myself in the Gym – But NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT!

Ummmmm, can ANYONE help me to understand why I am literally killing myself, going to the gym 6-7 days a week at 5:30 am, working out on cardio machines (treadmill, elliptical, glider, bike) for an hour, burning approximately 600 -1000 calories and I am not losing ANY weight!

I am so determined….. BUT would like to see some results!

Treadmill

You might ask: Well, Yani, what are you eating – I am eating 1200 calories per day that I track in MyFitnessPal. So I cannot say that I eat perfect or “clean” but I do the best I can with mostly salads and proteins.

Ok, let me back up, I began my fitness journey 4 years ago by joining Weight Watchers and I lost 60 lbs on that plan (I did not buy their food but I was counting “points”). Along with WW I was exercising 3 times a week doing a WW aerobics DVD.

After WW, I had maintained that loss for 3 and a half years and then slowly I began gaining weight so I put my current plan into action. I joined Planet Fitness Gym on September 2, 2014. Since that time I have been working out regularly  (as stated in the opening paragraph). I work out at PF, track my food,  and I even invested in a FitBit!

I even use my FitBit to track my steps!
I even use my FitBit to track my steps!

Can someone, anyone, tell me what in the world I am doing wrong? I do not mind being a curvy girl but if I am putting in the time at the gym, can a sista see SOME results?

My goal is to lose another 60 lbs!

Does anyone have any tips, advice, or help for me – PLEASE!!!!